Manchester United-o-centric blogging
August 23, 20031 Inspirational Captain, 2 Blind Mice, 3 Great Points45 minutes into this game, I was livid. Disgusted. After 90 minutes, I was somewhat appeased. Uriah Rennie and Jeff Winter have had more complaints against them than any other referee in Premier League history, so the FA’s decision to put these two in charge of this game was right up there alongside there decision to appoint Howard Wilkinson as the FA’s Technical Director.
Less than 2 minutes later, Giggs was clean through in a near identical position, just this side of the penalty area when Andy O’Brien hacked him down. Professional foul. Textbook decision, O’Brien has to go, and a free kick must be given. Not in Uriah land. Giggs, and every United player were understandably stunned by the decision and surrounded the ref. Ferguson was also livid, and in frustration he kicked over a water bottle laying near the dugout. A water bottle for fuck’s sake, not a linesman, not a weapon of mass destruction, and not even a boot headed for a player’s face. Fouth official Jeff Winter, not to be outdone by Mr Rennie, calls the ref over to tell him about Fergie’s little episode. Ferguson, as he sent from the dugout, sums it up – ‘A fucking joke’. Fucking joke indeed. 2 minutes later again, Scholes accidentally handles the ball about 25 yards from goal. It was accidental, but it helped him gain control of the ball, so I have no problem with the decision. I do however, have a problem with the inconsistency of the referee’s decisions, but more on that later. I also don’t want to talk about how Alan ‘I’m not playing in Euro 2002 if the FA charge me for stamping on a players face’ held Silvestre by the rest, then pushed down on his shoulder when jumping up to head in ther. I don’t want to talk about it, because the prick has been doing it for years. Back now to the handball issue. Just before half time, Aaron Hughes handles inside the Newcastle penalty area in the exact same fashion that Scholes did area. Penalty? Not in Uriah-land. I have vented. On to the good points, of which there are many. The back 4 played a majestic game. Tim Howard didn't have a save to make, barring the goal which he could do nothing about. Ferdinand and Silvestre won nearly every ball that came to them, and distributed with style from the back. O'Shea had his best game since May, and seems to have shaken off the tiredness that popped up in pre-season. The Waterford screech of 'Leave it for me, Ronaldo' just before the final whistle brought a grin to my face. Djemba-Djemba looks like he has been there for years - I think Butt has lost his place for the season. And then there was Roy. 'Roy Keane no longer has what it takes to take the game by the scruff of the neck.' Is that so, Sky Panel? The 2nd half performance by Keane was on par with the Juventus semi final of 99. He was indeed, inspirational. It was his passes that set up both goals, and a half dozen other chances that both Scholes and Van Nistelrooy squandered. Ruud's equaliser was a lovely turn and shoot in one move, and Scholes couldn't but score the winner, which he nudged in with his right nipple.
6 points out of 6, it's Wolves on Wednesday. Starting debuts for Kleberson and Ronaldo could be on the cards... August 18, 20031 Down, 37 to Go
Thank you for taking the time to write, you'd be surprised how lonely the life of a deity can get. I received your wish list. Unfortunately I cannot provide you with Keira Knightley in a bow, as non-footballing matters are beyond my control. To compensate, however, I have provided you with the following: 3 points I'll see what I can do for next week.
Eric Cantona (le God of Football) August 15, 2003Drive-By ShootingsTwenty-three hours to go. Nerves. My stomach is so bad I feel like I've swallowed a Rampant Rabbit©. I walked down to Spar, bought a packet of Rancheros. 20% extra free. What a waste. I could only eat 20 of them. I gave the rest to the ducks. 3 of them followed me back to work, one by one, in a row. 3 in a row. If Bolton win tomorrow, that'll be 3 wins in a row at Old Trafford for Sam's men. Fuck off ducks. Tonight, I don't even think my usual therapy of killing hundreds of Germans will calm me down. I'll give Medal of Honour a try alright, but it won't be enough. I'll try sex, but there's always the chance I'll be so preoccupied that I'll scream 'Go on Giggsy!' at a pivotal moment, and that won't endear me to my girlfriend in the slightest. Rancheros, Medal of Honour, Sex. What else can I try? I bought a super soaker cannon yesterday, specifically to do drive-by shootings. It's pictured here. Tried it out last night. I drove, Mrs Bat sat in the back with the window rolled down. We drive by the park. 2 skater kids are walking. Great stuff. Pump. Reduce speed. Take aim. FIRE. Fantastic, right in the head. The kids didn't see the funny side. No matter, we laughed more than enough on their behalf. So maybe that's the answer, maybe that'll calm my nerves. Drive by shootings on Dublin's north side tonight. You heard it here first. Go on United... August 13, 2003Postcard from MadridThis one has been doing the rounds, but I thought it was worth including here. Dear Gary Hope you are well and Phil liked the wicker donkeys I sent. Lots of people have been offering to help me out with the language, but Victoria says my English is fine as it is. Everyone has been really friendly and the lads have got a great sense of humour, just like at United. Luis Figo's the funniest - every time he sees me he says: "I'm going to break your legs, pretty boy!" Keano would love it here. It's nice to see Stevie again. He said to me only yesterday "I'm really looking forward to helping you settle in. I've got you a nice spot next to me on the bench". He says he's got all sorts of training games we can play together, like snap, dominoes and ludo but I think I'll be too busy with the football. Victoria is very happy here already. We was listening to the radio the other morning and the current Spanish Number One came on. It's called "Plinky Plinky Techno Happy Plinky Plinky Bot Bot". Victoria reckons she can come up with something every bit as good. You might have seen in the papers that they're going to let me share the free-kicks with a bloke called Robert O'Carlos. Will you ask Keano if he remembers him from his Ireland days? Luis says even though this O'Carlos bloke can bend the ball really well, I'll still be the biggest bender at the club. Which was nice of him. Anyway, hope you and the lads are enjoying the preparations for the season ahead. See you in the quarter-finals! David August 07, 2003Nou Camp '99I wrote the following piece 4 years ago for the company magazine.. I am often asked “Where were you the night United won the Champions League?” My response is a simple yet proud one; “I was there”. I was one of 90,000 lucky souls there to witness one of the greatest finals the European Cup has ever staged. Just like United, my road to the famous Nou Camp stadium of Barcelona was by no means an easy one. It all started Wednesday, April 21st – Juventus stumbling block? Semi Final day, United away to Juventus. I went to the Yacht in Clontarf with some friends to see the game. We had been there for every United game of the tournament so far, 8 of us made a ritual of it. I had barely taken my seat when disaster struck! Utd went 1 down in theng minutes. Faces all around the bar were looking ragged. 11 minutes into the game, the unthinkable happened. 2-0 to Juventus, and heads were dropping faster than David James catching a cross. Something told me not to panic just yet. Besides, I had put a fiver on at 20-1 for a 2-2 draw. All we needed was for Utd to get 2 goals in the next 79 minutes and I’d be a happy chappy, £100 richer. Who better than Captain Keano to get the ball rolling with a superb header from a corner to pull one back. Dwight Yorke soon got a second and £100 was within my reach! My thoughts had now switched to making plans to go to Barcelona when the Yacht erupted! Not only had Andy Cole secured United’s passage to the final with a third goal, he also stopped me winning my hundred pounds! Ah well, not to worry, I had a month to raise the cash to get to Barcelona. Thursday, April 22nd – The Beginning Friday, April 23rd – Plans made Saturday, May 22nd – FA Cup Final Sunday, May 23rd – The Journey Begins Monday, May 24th – BARCELONA!
Wednesday, May 26th - MATCH DAY
What next? August 04, 2003Red RoamersNot all players who grace (or indeed decimate) the Old Trafford turf get to stay until glorious retirement. In fact, some or sent packing mercilessly early on in their careers. Some go on to make an impact at other clubs, some become sports pundits, and one poor chap went on to become a postman. I donned my Google-cap to track down some infamous ex-reds.. Karel Poborsky
‘The Locomotive’ as Czech fans call him, was signed by United in ’96 after he had a pretty decent European Championships. His displays, and in particular his spectacular chipped goal against Portugal in the quarter final, put him on the shopping lists of several European clubs, with United winning the chase and paying £3.5mil for the right winger. United had high hopes for him, but pretty soon it became apparent why he was called The Locomotive – he could only ever run in a straight line. Even Ian Harte could mark this guy. Poborsky was guranteed to run straight into a full back at least a dozen times a game. He made only 17 starts for United, scoring 5 goals. He puts his failure at the club down to the fact he arrived at the same time Beckham was breaking into the first team squad. I put it down to the fact he was shite. He was sold to Graeme Souness’ Benfica after 2 seasons. He also struggled to make an impact initially, but gradually improved. In 2001, Sven Goran Eriksson brought Poborsky to Lazio for £2mil. He played surprisingly well in Italy before moving to Sparta Prague eighteen months later. The official reason for his departure was that he was homesick. Others say he was forced out after he blamed the Italian doping scandal on Italian chicken! “The chicken meat that one eats in Italy could be the cause of all of these doping problems, because these animals are given growth hormones.” Out you go Karel, before the Pasta Dons make you sleep with the fishes. Poborsky is now a cult hero at his hometown club in Prague Andrei Kanchelskis Who can forget Andrei? The original baby-faced assassin before Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was ever heard of. This guy was a good old-fashioned right-winger. None of the fancy Beckham crosses from 40 yards out. In his prime, Kanchelskis wouldn’t pass a ball unless he’d beaten 2 players first to ‘earn the right’ to cross it in. A joy to watch, Kanchelskis was signed in March of ’91 for a bargain £650,000 from his hometown club Shaktar Donetsk in the Ukraine. Kanchelskis played international football for the USSR, and when the Soviet Union disbanded, had to choose between playing for Russia, Ukraine or Lithuania. There was talk at the time of Jack Charlton taking legal advice to see if he could play for Ireland, but alas, to no avail. We got Jason ‘No dandruff, but I’m still a ponce’ McAteer instead. He joined Everton in ’95 for £5.5mil after a falling out with Alex Ferguson. His formed dropped dramatically and he spent the latter half of the season warming the bench. He refused to be named as a sub towards the end of the season, leading Ferguson to offer the winger to his pal Joe Royle at Everton. Rumours were rife in the press at the time saying that Kanchelskis owed money to Russian gangsters, and required the cash that a large signing on fee could pay. Who knows? Kanchelskis rediscovered his form at Goodison and scored 16 league goals in his first season at the club. He became an instant hero at Everton when he scored both goals to win his first ever Merseyside derby 2-0. In January ’97, he was packing his bags again and moving to Serie A to hook up with Fiorentina who paid £8million for his services. To fuel the ‘He needs the money from the signing on fees’ rumour even further, 18 months later, Rangers paid £5.5million to take him to Scotland, where he spent 2 and a half years before falling out of favour with Dick Avocado. He returned to happier pastures in Manchester, albeit the Blue side this time, in January of 2001 on a loan deal. A permanent deal never materialised and Southampton moved to snap up the winger, now 33, on a free transfer at the start of the 2002/03 season. He made only 2 substitute appearances for the Saints before moving to Saudi Arabia in June of this year where he joined Al Hilal on a 4 month deal. Ferguson’s first post-Schmeichel season must have lead to many a sleepless night for the boss. Ferguson paid, wait for it, £4.4million to bring Massimo Taibi to the treble winners in August of 99. He made his debut away to Liverpool, where he received the man of the match award for a spectacular performance in the 3-2 win. That was then follwed by the indifferent display in the 1-1 draw to Wimbledon, followed by the infamous ‘ball through the legs’ incident against Southampton and topped off with the 5-0 mauling by Chelsea. Pack your bags you scruffy looking gobshite. Taibi moved back to Italy to Reggina a couple of months later for £2mil. He now plays for Atalanta, who surprise surprise, were relegated from Serie A last season. Remember kids, for every Peter Schmeichel, there’s a Massimo Taibi.
Lee Sharpe shot to fame in 1992 when he scored a hat-trick away to Arsenal in the League Cup (back when it meant something). Astonishingly he was playing left full back at the time. The performance immediately persuaded Fergie to move him to midfield where he was a revelation. The following season he won the Young Player of the Year award. It has often been claimed he was the first product of Ferguson’s youth team. Not true – Sharpe was a bargain £30k signing from Torquay. A series of bust-ups with Ferguson, and the emergence of Ryan Giggs limited Sharpe’s first team appearances. He was sold to rivals Leeds in 1996 for £4.5mil. He failed to make a big impact at Elland Road, he spent a short spell under David Platt at Sampdoria before spending time at Bradford and Portsmouth and finally moving to Exeter City in Division 3 where he currently plays. He’s now 32 – does that make you feel old?
If Ferguson has anybody to thank for saving his job at Old Trafford, it’s this man. Back in the 89/90 season, then-Chariman Martin Edwards was running out of patience with Alex’s inability to win trophies. With the league out of reach, the only thing that could save his job was to win the FA Cup. The 3rd round draw saw a tricky away tie to in-form Nottingham Forest. Super-sub Robins grabbed the only goal of a tight affair. He also scored the winning goals against Newcastle and Oldham in later rounds. United went on to beat Crystal Palace in a replay to claim Ferguson’s first Old Trafford Trophy. Robins to Norwich in 92 for £800,000, where he had a decent record of a goal every 3 games. He then had an affair with manager John Deehan’s teenage daughter, and was promptly sold to Leicester for a million. He played second fiddle to Emile Heskey at Leicester – when that happens, you know you’re on a downward spiral. He then allegedly beat the crap out of his wife and her battered face was plastered all over the tabloids back pages. He moved to Spain for a short period to play for Orense, before moving to Greece, where he made it to the UEFA Cup semi final with lowly Panionios. He left after a pay dispute – he claimed he was so broke that he once had to borrow money from his young son to buy petrol so he could drive to training. He spent one season at Man City from 98 to 99, the next year at Rotheram, and currently plays for peanuts at Tranmere. August 01, 200314 into 4 Doesn't FitJuan Sebastien Veron. Without doubt this man is one of the most gifted footballers in world football today. By now he should've set the Premiership alight. He has threatened to do so on occasion, no more so than in September 2001 when he won the Barclaycard Player of the Month award, only weeks after joining the club. More often than not however, he has been a luxury bystander of the Manchester United setup. Veron has tended to go from one extreme to the other, from being dormant one week to putting in match-winning performances the next. From sloppy passes on a Saturday to creating goals from nothing with 60 yard passes on a Wednesday. Most people remember Beckham's immaculate 30 yard chip against Birmingham last season, but do they remember Veron's pinpoint pass to Beckham from just outside his own penalty area? The answer is simply no. If Veron had been a product of United's youth team, or an inexpensive import, there wouldn't be many people calling him a failure. When your bus ticket to Old Trafford costs the club £28,100,000 however, it's a different story. So what is the reason for this enigmatic behaviour? ABU's will tell you he can't tackle. Any supporter who watches Veron play regularly will tell you that this is indeed a misconception. At the time of his Player of the Month accolade, Barclaycard's Awards Panel said: 'Tackle, pass, head, cross, score - Veron can do the lot. Since joining the FA Barclaycard Premiership the Argentinean midfielder has proved he is, without doubt, one of the class acts of the current season... Veron must surely be an early favourite for the player of the year accolade.'
Remind you of anyone? Le God. Eric Cantona, signed for a pittance, was a revelation in the English league. An exquisite finisher, a sublime passer, and a vision of the game yet to be surpassed in the Premiership. Eric in some ways was the opposite of Veron - he couldn't turn on the style on the European level, whereas that is the stage Veron shines. A mystery that no-one will ever solve. Eric had the classic repertoire required for European football, yet was consistantly limp in Ferguson's quest for the Champions League. It wasn't until after Cantona sensationally retired did Europe's top prize return to Old Trafford. Cantona could not tackle. So woeful was his attempt at a challenge, that Ferguson waived all of his tackling duties in his final 2 years at United. Veron, as pointed out before, is an excellent challenger - when he wants to be. This season is make or break for Veron in the Premiership. But will he get the chance at Old Trafford? I hope so. Ferguson has stated his desire to see him stay, but also conceded to let him go to Chelsea, if that's what the player desires. Veron's performance last night against Juventus was sublime. He set up 2 goals, and was voted man-of-the-match in a country where someone who doesn't get on the scoresheet is never voted man-of-the-match, or MVP as the soccer-nuts call it. It was a pre-season friendly, I know, but one of the most passionate friendlies I've ever witnessed. Sub standard opposition? No, Champions League finalists. Weak Juventus starting line-up? Veron was man marked by Edgar Davids - still undoubtedly one of Europe's top man-markers. It is a fact that cannot be denied. Veron was sensational, less than 12 hours after he was supposedly on a plane back to London to sign for Chelsea. Earlier in the week he received a round of applause from his teammates when he scored a goal in training that Alex Ferguson described as 'the most amazing feat of individual skill I have seen in my life!' He took the ball on his knee while surrounded by three defenders, turned, and with his right foot behind his left, hammered it into the top corner from the edge of the area. I know I do it regularly at p45-aside, but being surrounded by Ferdinand, O'Shea and Keane is a little more daunting than holding off Bodger, DNS and Jackle. So what are the options if he stays? If Veron could give 100% every week, he would walk into any midfield in the Premiership, United included. He would be the first name on Alex's teamsheet, if he could guarantee regular performances like last night's Juventus game, or even the Juventus game in March when an again Veron-inspired United breezed past Juve in a 3-0 stroll. The simple truth is that, based on past evidence, Veron cannot guarantee that consistancy, and without it, he cannot be considered any more than a rotating squad player, playing every 2nd game. A fully fit Manchester United squad will give Alex Ferguson one of the biggest selection headaches he has ever faced. There are now 10 out and out midfielders pushing for a starting berth - Roy Keane, Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Nicky Butt and Quinton Fortune have all had an excellent pre-season. David Bellion has impressed on the right wing, where Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was outstanding in the run-in to last season. New boys Djemba Djemba and Kleberson are both established internationals who will be chomping at the bit for a first team place. Kids Kieron Richardson and Darren Fletcher are now established members of the first team squad. Phil Neville and John O'Shea are two others who have done a job in the middle of the park before to good effect. Juan Sebastien Veron brings that total to 14. 14 players vying for 4 midfield spots. Assuming United don't sign another striker to partner Van Nistelrooy up front, Scholes will play in the hole behind him. Ryan Giggs place on the left is safe as long as he is fit and performing well. The same applies for Keane in the centre. That leavesngs for a central midfielder, and a right winger. Veron will have to battle it out with Kleberson, Djemba Djemba and Nicky Butt for the central role. Admittedly all three of these players are primarily defensive midfielders, but Ferguson has had no problems playing 2 defensive central midfielders before, and to great effect. Beckham's old spot on the right may seem like the easier option for Veron, although Solskjaer, Fletcher and Richardson won't lie down easily. So what will he do? Make a fresh start at Stamford Bridge, where Ranieri has pledged to make him 'the King of Chelsea?' Or will he stick it out at United in a bid to prove himself as the midfield talisman he and others believe he can be? Unless he makes an immediate impact, he'll have to make do with warming the bench at least once a fortnight. Personally, although I have yet to see Djemba Djemba or Kleberson in a United shirt, I would like to see Veron take the central role alongside Keane. 'He's had 2 years of that', I hear you scream. True, but there is one major factor that needs to be considered here. David Beckham. When United were chasing a game over the last 4 years, the strategy was simple - pass the ball out to the right. Beckham will pick someone out. More often than not, it worked. At Lazio, they had a similar strategy. Give it to Veron. Let him pick someone out. More often than not, he did. | |||||||||||
Peter Schmeichel, like a man posessed, ran the length of the pitch to go up for the corner. 90,000 people held their breath. Enter Mr Edward Sheringham. If ever there was a man with the sheer arrogance to snatch victory from the resolute Germans, it was Teddy Sheringham. If ever there was a man with the sheer belief to do in 5 minutes what his team mates couldn’t do in 90, it was Teddy Sheringham. If ever there was one man who so desperately wanted to be a hero all his life, it was Teddy Sheringham. I tried to cheer but I could not. I was in disbelief. I was jumping around like a mad man, but could not utter a word. So many people around me were jumping up and down all at once, I’m sure it registered on the Richter Scale. The match kicked off again, and many people, myself included, mistakenly thought the ref had blown for full time. He had however, granted United another corner. Schmeichel stayed where he was this time. The ball again fell to Teddy Sheringham, who flicked it on to Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. The impish Norwegian instinctively stuck out a foot, and tucked the ball into the roof of the net. 90,000 fans, 22 players, a referee and a nervy Scotsman all looked towards the linesman. His flagged stayed down. I was able to scream this time. 